May 4, 2008...10:05 pm
Writing about myself
Well-written blog posts are mini essays. Some are lyric, some are personal, others didactic, and still others bombastic. By and large, most bloggers write in the first person, and include details of their personal life on the page. Isn’t that how the word blog came about? Writers recorded tidbits of their lives in the form of a web log.
In his essay, Writing Personal Essays: On the Necessity of Turning Oneself Into a Character, Phillip Lopate gives the same sort of advice teachers of fiction writing often mention - to create a pattern of behaviors for the person you are writing about. It’s not enough to say I. He also suggests using exaggeration to make a point about oneself. There’s no sense in being blasé when trying to seduce a reader.
Gloria, author of Writer Reading, does a great job re-creating herself on the page. She’s passionate about reading good books, adores art, devotes herself to her profession, and voices strong opinions about everything from MFA programs to the ways literary editors select and reject a writer’s work. And she’s a mother and wife who wears her heart on her sleeve. I know all this about her because of the way she writes. She has created a character: Gloria the literary blogger.
My blogging character is a dreamy yogini poet. I’m a pacifist vegetarian mother raising two meat-eating teenage boys who lives much of the time in a fantasy world of my own making. Just for the record, I can still distinguish between the imagination and the world I perceive with my five senses!
I wonder if writing about the self lessens or increases narcissism? On the one hand, If I’m honest about myself I’ll list my quirks and traits objectively. If I’m dispassionate about outlining my foibles, I might understand how others view me. As far as I know, that’s a sign of a healthy person.
On the other hand, all these posts might be another way for me to bolster a fiction I created a long time ago, a fragile fabrication that now lives electronically. Maybe my self-worth is so low that I need to paint a portrait of a persona each day in order to feel loved.
Which do you think mariacristina is, authentic or paper maché?
What about you? Who’s your blogging persona?
23 Comments
May 4, 2008 at 10:33 pm
this is a really interesting idea. do we become more of ourselves by talking about our lives? or do we simply chase rainbows, or whatever it is they say?
i think you really are a dreamy yogini poet who wants more of herself in her life.
but i may be projecting. i want more of myself, too.
i wonder about my own blog, how accurately it portrays me or if accuracy is even a goal.
i do know it’s really hard to see ourselves. that’s one reason i enjoy poetry — for me, it’s a way to more closely examine things i see every day.
May 4, 2008 at 10:47 pm
in answer to your questions about you,, i feel you are either over extended or very highly motivated,, and mix that with dream weaver and yoga and i am not sure what you get…
but i find you highly intelligent as far as your poetic inspiration and literary expertise is concerned and i enjoy the camaraderie you are making available to me thru the blogging community….
i feel that your level of privacy, ie using the name mariachristina is a natural desire to retain a portion of your anonymity,, and i share that with you….
tho i have given my blog persona a name all her own,, the characteristics she is imbued with are mine… if fact,, my subject matter has a lot to do with why i maintain a persona,, i am not hiding,, but i am not inviting either,, and some of the things i discuss or include in my writing may well encourage weirdo attention,, although i have to date not had any problems in those areas…
if you have never read the biographic essay portions of my blog you may not understand to what it is i am referring,, but in my persona, paisley,, i feel free to discuss things people that i know in the flesh,, may or may not know about me… this is of course just my feeling on the subject.
May 4, 2008 at 11:47 pm
We contain many, many selves, even the most integrated of us. Often the structure of our environment, be it a work setting or a blog on the internet will accentuate certain aspects and hide others from view. On top of that, we change all the time as we travel through the life cycle, so our self is never static but a constant creation. You are as authentic on your blog as you want to be within blogging constraints that you set for yourself, certain rules of privacy for example. In many respects, we create ourselves, but those created selves are as authentic as any other kind of self. In my opinion. As you know, this is my second attempt at a blog because the first was too revealing, and this one is constantly missing “disappeared” posts that I decided were too negative, self-revealing or personal. We edit ourselves too. It’s called impression management.
May 5, 2008 at 1:15 am
“the ontological status of fictional characters” most people use their blogs to present a picture of the person they would like to be, or the person they would like other people to think they are, empty caricatures and middleclass cliches, i suspect the real mariachistina is more passionate, less balanced, a real wild child seeking solace in her grownup yoga persona, but then again i am often wrong,
May 5, 2008 at 7:58 am
Mmm, astute comment, Paul, kind of my take too. As for me, I can tell by the way my bloggy contacts connect with me through mail that they probably don’t see me as I really am, though a couple now know me better.
There are many similarities between you and I, I have thought it before, the dreaminess, the drift, though I think that you are a much calmer person than me, I am kind of volatile, though I calm down pretty damn fast, just little bursts of steam to take the pressure off, I am in need of yoga GRIN.
I don’t put much personality in my blog, far more goes into my comments, and I find that is the case for many of the people I’ve come to know. Whatever you get of comes through my poems, some of which reveal the circumstances of my life. I started writing again to reclaim a life lost through being at home with children, stopping working, the me on the page is a fragile creation, because what I am doing is stitching myself back together and the seams show.
Great post, as always……..I have a strong suspicion that if we were around each other ‘in real life’ we’d get on very well.
May 5, 2008 at 7:59 am
Oh and I love the phrase impression management, Poetmouse.
May 5, 2008 at 8:07 am
Writing about the self does nothing to the narcissist in us. In fact, when we write about things that don’t concern us and begin to interject the narrative with personal opinions and “I’d have done differently - ” sort of points, then we are feeding that narcissist.
Mariacristina does not have to write specifically about herself for people to know who she is - her poems are more than enough for us to know the sort of person you are and the beautiful thoughts that reside in you.
You’re not paper maché, instead, you are a solid wall of purity and honesty, holding back a furious swell of creativity!
I’ll refrain from speaking about myself, lest I judge myself poorly, and leave that job to you. What do you think my blogging persona is?
May 5, 2008 at 10:45 am
when i first started blogging, i wrote journal-style. i kept my creative life far away from the web…but then the two gradually mixed, completely beyond my conscious control. now it’s difficult to write purely about myself in journal-format, unless i’m writing a piece of creative non-fiction. blogging has bolstered my writing.
thanks for the post!
May 5, 2008 at 11:08 am
witchie, you mention an interesting point: bringing more of ourselves into our lives. Life turned into a bit of how jo describes it for me- having children, NOT stopping work (that didn’t nourish me), and feeling like I was disappearing. That’s a big reason why I write.
paisley, I need to read more of your essays. I tend to focus on your poems, and there are so many good ones!
poetmouse, half the reason I wrote this post is to see what you’d have to say. So thanks for enlightening me.
I see there’s a gradation of selves. Integration management, not letting one self completely control the rest. And then who does the “letting” ? So complicated.
Paul, you are very right. I’m not as balanced as I’d like to be. I really like your character portrayal. She’d make a good subject of a poem! It’s hard to escape the myth our class has built for us. I sometimes feel locked into it. Is there an escape?
jo, I think we’d get along well too. In fact, all the people who’ve commented here would make a good crowd for a party!
yaake, you are an intelligent, introspective, and funny writer. Sometimes you remind me of Woody Allen, with the mishaps that seem to find you. THanks for your kind words.
May 5, 2008 at 11:09 am
vesper, I think it must be a natural progression. Maybe it’s a pendulum, swinging back and forth from revealing to creating.
May 5, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Absolutely fab post.
I think you are totally authentic.
On my way to shout this out to the group
May 5, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Pepek is not me. Sometimes I am Pepek, since he lived in my head before he materialized on the page. Maybe he really is my other, that part of me who might (if circumstances were right) murder, who seeks forgiveness and redemption. Although, many more of my individual poems reveal lots more of my real self. I think.
May 6, 2008 at 5:44 am
yayaya, you got some keepers, great post, bought out the best in people in terms of quick capture self portrait by talking about others, cool,
May 6, 2008 at 5:46 am
p.s. is that a rhetorical question, who does the letting, that may be the difference between taoism and the kind of crosslegged discipline yoga, you can’t catch yourself by chasing,
May 6, 2008 at 7:20 am
To me writing has meant being conscious of living, of life. Well, I did read that somewhere.
It follows that writing about the self is being conscious of the self. Being aware of the self is the first step in being spiritual. Self awareness is the greatest gift. Writing about the self increases self-awareness. The fact that you even think of it (writing about the self) as having a touch of narcissism shows that you are again aware that how much is too much. People who simply think of themselves all the time (but don’t write) are not as aware.
May 6, 2008 at 9:08 am
[...] / mariacristina has a terrific post called writing about myself. in it, she wonders about her blog/writing personality’s resemblance to her true self. she [...]
May 6, 2008 at 10:28 am
Ach, I don’t believe the whole “self” business anyway, so for me it’s a moot point.
I fall in with Nita. For me the most interesting part of blogging is stepping back from it and asking: what am I refraining from saying, because I’m afraid my audience won’t like it?
And then I write about that, whatever it is, and post it. It’s probably what I most need to disclose and what my audience most needs to hear.
May 6, 2008 at 10:28 am
You’re the fourth person who has said I remind them of Woody Allen!! Really?? I’m so honored!!
May 8, 2008 at 12:26 am
i just came upon your post and it’s after midnite and i’m not ‘thinking’ as well ’cause i’m tired…but i want to say how much i identify with all of the thoughts expressed here! i have 3 blogs, each for a different purpose. i have taken quite a few posts ‘off’ the first blog because several people i know (my husband, mother, daughter, etc) are all now reading my blog. i feel my privacy is no longer available and i have to censor myself. in fact, it is even an issue for me with my poetry since it’s not as anonymous. i can write what i want privately but cannot say it on my blog(s)…And, because of my profession (which i’m not currently working in but am licensed, and ‘may’ work again) i need to be fairly ‘mild’ because everything written on the net is there for all to view, or to ’search and find’. i suppose i should create a new blog but i like the ones i have. ugh. ok..well, this is the most i’ve written about ‘myself’ since i first started my blogs. christina, i see you as anything BUT paper mache!
May 9, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I agree with Dale - often it’s the things I don’t want to write about that are those that reveal me most to me and others.
Who is mariacristina? She feels real to me - and I have enjoyed her insights and perspectives and her beautiful writing. There’s something there that feels like a real person, and that’s what attracts me to good blogs. It’s attractive even though I’ve no idea how much of this is part of the writer’s everyday in-person personality - perhaps it’s more true, perhaps less.
Who is Lirone? Part of the truth, but not the whole truth, of who I am. There are big chunks of me that I don’t write about, which distorts a bit. But then, I also find that when I’m with different friend, different bits of me tend to come out - it’s not that I’m pretending, because they’re all me really! I feel it’s the same with blogging.
May 19, 2008 at 2:40 pm
late checking into this conversation but have a few minutes for airport writing so I want to say… uh, I don’t know.
Hopefully we are writing ourselves into being. We are becoming something more for the writing. I think who we are and what we are and what we wish to be shines through the characters, the personas we create.
We are works in progress. Vehicles. Fluid notions… mistakes and corrections…
May 19, 2008 at 3:49 pm
What an astonishing person you are, Rick, truly astonishing. I just came here after you said you’d been reading this and what a wonderful response…….thank you………..something more for the writing, yes.
May 19, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Rick, I love what you have said about writing ourselves into being. A beautiful way to put it. It’s why blogging and writing online is real. I’m so glad you stopped by to add your thoughts.
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